My Poor Little Pops

The nurses have upped dads drugs now so he is more sedated now that he was, so he is calmer!
My mum is feeling really guilty now because he is so sedated! She is worried that this is the last time he'll know we're around but its better that he doesnt know anything than him knowing we're there but being frustrated!! Its so hard and it still feels like its a completely different world, it doesnt seem real!!
The nurses went through what we have to do when Dad dies, we've had to get the number of the GP and the funeral directors at hand just incase! It seems crazy to be doing all that cos its still not sinking in yet that he's going to die. I dont think it's going to hit me until it actually happens. He originally decided that he wanted to go into the hospice to die but when he got more sick he was scared to go in... It was the final stage for him, so he decided to stay at home, which my mum was completely fine with.
He is literally sleeping all the time now! I feel so useless when i look at him and i feel so sorry for the fact that he cant do anything anymore! My mum is so upset today. It must be so hard for her, watching the man she loves dying. They've been together longer than they have been apart! They got married when they were 18 and knew each other from when they were about 13!! I would be devastated if i lost Lee and we've only been together for 4 years, so i cant even imagine how she feels now she is losing dad after all these years!! I know she'll be ok though because she is the most amazingly strong person in the whole world and i am so proud of her and im glad i have her to look after me and me to look after her!! :)